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February 14, What in Carnation? You two might be a way from carving your names in the old oak tree, but there’s nothing like Valentine’s Day to remind you whom you heart (or don’t). amoraphobia n. an irrational fear of Valentine’s Day. blue bawls n. an emotional, romantic version of flirting that leaves you feeling sad and crying. light n. the blatantly cheap flower selection from a guy who needs to be dumped ASAP. (How was your V-Day? light.) carniwhore n. a girl who puts out for carnations. do-or adj. as in, if I don’t a ring today, he’s dead to me. stem posers n. people who send themselves flowers from a “secret admirer.” lote v. to walk the thin line between and hate. (I lote. One day he’s a dollface; the next he’s a total wanker.) ménage à flaws n. when you crash your friend’s Valentine’s Day date only to talk about all your relationships gone wrong. PDR n. public display of rejection: when your takes you somewhere lovely only to break your heart in front of strangers. Valentiny n. a whose masculinity is put in question by his overenthusiasm for V-Day. (I mean, I don’t expect him to be a Valentiny, but he could at least try to hide his total amoraphobia.)
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